
“Behold your Queen” King Clinton exclaimed “For I am passing my power to her and she shall rule over you as did I. Accept her and love her as you loved me.” And the Dems were afraid and did bow before them.
The children of the Dems flocked to the hero Obama and said “You must free us from this curse!” and so he went forth to battle the Queen of the Hill. And it came to pass that the great hero broke the spell and set free the serfs of Iowa and Carolina. The peasants pledged fealty to the hero and said “We will be your army, and we will be called the Obamites.”
And the scribes and town criers sang his praises and told of his great deeds and of his victory and prophesied the death of the dark Queen until the day came that she cried out in anguish and defeat. But the King unleashed powerful wizards of special interest and once again cast his spell on the people of the Hampshires and Nevada and Lo! The people saw the Queen was not dead.
And the King and Queen forged an alliance with the mysterious undead armies of Michigan and Florida and marched across the land to battle the Obamites. So the hero Obama sought counsel from the old wise men of Camelot and asked “How do I kill this witch queen?” And they said, “We will help you but heed our warning - Do not gaze upon her visage for she will turn you to stone.” That very day, in the hall of power the Queen found and reached for the hero and he turned away lest he be turned to stone, and she exclaimed - "I reached out to him and I am still reaching out." And the people wondered if he was weak in spirit. And now the battle has been joined again and rages across the land, and none dare predict the final outcome.
A multitude of Obamites with malice in their eyes and hatred in their hearts will surround the Queen of the Hill and fill the air with cries, lamentations, rending of garments and gnashing of teeth for the fallen idol. And the dark Queen, the greatest savant of the great House of Clinton Political Mentats and Sorcerers will triangulate the complex political calculus and understand the need for Obamite acolytes to carry her on the long road ahead. Kneeling she will breathe life into the fallen hero and say “Rise Obama!, for you will walk with me to the promised land as my second - and bring your naive unwashed hordes with you. I will teach you the political weirding way.” And there will be great wonder and rejoicing in the land of the Dems.
x-posted at Donklephant.
On the occasion of this post being included in the prestigious JonSwift Best Blog Posts of 2008, (as selected by the bloggers themselves). We offer this updated Director's Cut Alternate Ending which somewhat more accurately reflects events as they - you know - actually unfolded in this universe:The army of the Obamites pushed the forces of the House of Clinton until their backs were pressed against the Mountains of Color in the land of Denver. Yet the King and Queen fought with a fury and bloodied the Obamites and caused them to fear that the hero would fall. The old King called to the heavens and beseeched the God-Delegates of super power to fall upon the Obamites and smite them.
The Hero Obama then called to the trapped king and queen -"Behold the power of the Chicago Weirding way!" He turned to his left where the Iman of Rahm open his mouth and from his throat a great Fog of Inevitability obscured the battlefield and the vision of the God-Delegates. Then he motioned to his right and the dark wizard Axe of the Rod cast a spell and behold the sky opened up and the manna of power fell as rain upon the Obamites and strengthened their spirit. Again he cast a spell toward the sky and summoned the corporate telecom demon-gods led by the great beast ATT. The hero Obama burned an offering of immunity and protection to the telecom gods and they showered manna and power upon the Obamites. And the Obamite army grew in power and number fed by the black magick of the corporate gods.
The God-Delegates looked upon the battle and were unmoved by the entreaties of the Clintonians. Lo they said onto to the King and Queen "WTF???" And the Clintons beheld the power of the hero Obama and were finally afraid.
The hero Obama raised both arms and the gates of hell opened beneath his feet and from the ground emerged hordes of boot-licking, butt-sniffing poodle-pundits of the press. The yapping yellow demon dogs of journalism fell upon the Clintons until their ankles were chewed as to the bone and they toppled to the ground. And so it came to pass that the Land of the Dems was finally freed from the spell of the Clinton King and Queen.
But Obama - Hero of The People - Ally of the Chicago Feudal Lords - Acolyte of the Telecom Gods - was generous in victory. "You have fought well my queen. Stand by me, and I will heal your financial wounds and give you domain over the vassals of State." And the queen was grateful, and walked with him and said "Tell me more about the Chicago weirding way." And they walked and laughed together and were entertained by the Chicago court jester Blago of Witch as they lay claim to the throne in the the Great White House of power.
Divided and Balanced.™ Now that is fair.
January 14th, 2008 at 10:38 am e
MW, the truth of the matter, if you are interested, is that the closure of Unity08 was not a process of tranfering, redirecting, re-allocating, re-structuring, re-constituting, or re-organizing into a pro-Bloomberg effort. No member information or money was moved from one organization to the other. They are completely separate organizations.
My comment to the members in the Unity08 forum was the result of their having been a false rumor started that day. We were operating on a time line to close the virtual doors of the organization which we advanced due to the nature of the press report. I felt that I owed it to the membership to tell them what I could since these particular members had worked avidly with me on the movement.
January 14th, 2008 at 2:06 pm e
Bob,
Thanks for stopping by to provide that clarification. Much appreciated. Clearly any linkage between Unity08 and the Bloomberg effort is speculative and purely circumstantial. There just seems to be an awful lot of those convenient circumstances in evidence, most notable the founders of Unity08 now in the Draft Bloomberg camp.
So just out of curiosity Bob, since Unity08 no longer needs a V.P. of Marketing
- where are you going?
January 15th, 2008 at 4:04 pm e
MW, I’ve decided to retire to my home state to spend some time with family while also helping out some friends get a few different projects off the ground. As I am sure you might find if you read several political blogs, one of those projects happens to be the draftbloomberg.com movement...
I don’t consider what is being written necessarily a “backlash.” I see that there are many I-told-ya-so’s out there, but what I have found in the world of politics is that there are a lot of name-callers and few action-takers. I can leave Unity08 with my head held high because I worked the insane hours and slept at the office to try and make a difference and thereby improve our country. You can argue whether it was right or wrong, but I took action.
Finally, you make an assumption that there was money in the bank when it was all said and done… we had ballot access efforts, direct mail in the works, an office of staff, new site technology built… and we stretched a million and a half dollars in donations over an amazingly long time period equal to about a year and a half. I don’t know about you, but the startups that I have worked for have had a much higher burn rate than that.
Good luck to you all!
Sincerely,
BobR