Saturday, July 30, 2016

Through the Looking Glass And What the Voters Found There - The Donald and The Hillary

Through the Looking Glass with Hillary and Donald
The Donald and The Hillary - with apologies to Lewis Carroll
The conventions are over. The nominees are chosen. The tickets are formed. The campaigns are underway. When the Dividist hacked Lewis Carroll last fall, he did not actually believe that Trump and Clinton would be the final choice offered by the major parties to the voters:
 "... it was obvious to the Dividist that Hillary Clinton's campaign was mortally wounded by her e-mail scandal, unfavorable ratings,  and other assorted Clintonesque baggage. A Joe Biden cavalry charge to rescue the Democratic Party was clearly in the works....  
If, for reasons that pass all understanding or any semblance of rationality, Donald Trump prevails and becomes the Republican nominee, there is a silver lining. The prospect of a Donald Trump presidency will make it very easy indeed to vote for Hillary Clinton and four more years of happily divided government."
This is what happens when you take a tumble down the rabbit hole.

Time to update our Adventure in Wonderland:

The Donald and The Hillary

Hillary was shining up the Progs,
But her case was not yet made.
And Bernie did his very best
To throw a lot of shade.
So it was not so very odd,
Deb made sure the Progs were played.

Cruz was moping sulkily,
Because throughout the run
Donald had no business to be there
After the polls were done -
"It's very rude of him," he said,
"To spoil all the fun!"

"No one believed I'd do it!"
The Donald was quick to chide.
And mainstream media said nothing more, 
looking for a place to hide.
Not even Roger Ailes spoke,
Since there were no more blondes to ride.

The time has come - the blogger said -
To talk of many things:
Of polls and pols and caucuses,
And candidates with bling.
And when the voters will get smart
And whether pigs have wings. 

The Donald and the Hillary
Once did walk hand in hand.
Voters wept and gnashed their teeth -
"These charlatans should be banned!
"If only they were cleared away,
The election would be grand!"

The Donald and the Hillary
Walked on a mile or so,
And they bickered on a platform
Conveniently set low:
And all the little voters stood
And waited in a row.

"Oh voters," said the Hillary,
"Shall the White House be our home again?"
But answer came there none -
And that was scarcely odd, because
She'd lied to every one.

"Oh voters, come and walk with me!"
The Donald did beseech.
"A pleasant walk, no P.C. talk,
And listen to my speech. - 
We cannot have more Mexicans,
I'll build a wall that they can't reach."

And so some cultists followed him,
True Believers to the core;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more--
But some Cons that heard his crazy words,
Declared "Donald Nevermore!"

"I'll WIN for you," The Donald said:
"This you should realize."
His stubby fingers pointed out
Some polls of doubtful size,
While holding his bulging wallet,
To keep voters hypnotized. 

"I weep for you," Hillary did say:
"I deeply empathize."
With sobs and tears she sorted out
PACs with the largest prize.
Still holding 'Citizens United'
Before her streaming eyes.

"A lot of bread," campaigns declared:
"Is what we chiefly need:
PACS and Corporations too
Are very good indeed -
Now if you're ready, voters dear,
it is time for you to bleed."

"But wait a bit," the voters cried,
"we need to have a chat;
Some of us are out of bread,
And not all of us fat cats!"
"No problem!" said the Donald.
They thanked him much for that.

"It seems a shame," the Donald said,
"To play this huckster trick,
Give voters simple platitudes,
And fool them with this shtick."
The Hillary said nothing but
"You really are a dick."

"Don't screw with us!" the voters cried,
Turning red to blue.
"Did Putin show you kindness? That's
A dismal thing to do!"
"The Russians are fine." Donald said.
"I admired Saddam too."

"Come voters," said the Donald,
"We've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting off to D.C. now?'
But answer came there none -
And this was scarcely odd, because
He frightened every one."

Divided Government is Limited Government is Better Government

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